Sunday, 1 February 2015

Beach Description Writing

WALT: to include descriptive detail in our writing.

We wrote a paragraph describing our favourite beach, using tips from our Success Criteria to transport the reader.

Success Criteria

  1. Use descriptive (specific) vocabulary that suit the style of writing.
  2. Use language features like personification, metaphors etc
  3. Exaggerate
  4. Use a variety of senses.

These were our favourite lines: 
    1. Tears come to my eyes as my brother splashes me in the face.
    2. The blistering hot sand boils under my feet.
    3. Sand scratches at your legs as it races across the open beach.
    4. Tumbling under the waves makes me feel like I’m in a different world.
    5. Freezing cold water, even though it’s a hot sunny day.
    6. The sand burns the bottoms of my feet, as if I’m stepping on hot coals.
    7. The salty intoxicating breeze isn’t the best.
    8. When you sprint and jump across the hot sand, you look like an idiot.
    9. The white shiny sand glimmers in the burning sun.
    10. My sister brought me my ice cream, most of it was gone when my sister tried to save it, well I think.
    11. the waves shiny and salty in the sunset makes the sea look like a blue backyard.
    12. The scorching hot sand squishes through your toes as you near the water’s edge.
    13. It’s really hot today at Opunake beach, I usp to the sea saying “hot, hot, hot.”  
    14. The sand is black as night, but hot as the sun.
    15. The summer-hot sand was so hot it was like standing on a hot stove.
    16. People are running over the sand, which feels like a pan.
    17. The sand turns into a pan, with you as a piece of meat, burning away.
    18. The golden sand spreads across the beach.
    19. The glowing orange sun makes the water nice and clear.
    20. The scorching fire sand warms your body up before going in the ice cold water.
    21. The salty water fizzes in your nose when the waves tumble over you.
    22. The glistening crystal clear salty sea is beautiful at sunset.
    23. I walked onto the blistering hot sticky sand.
    24. My toes touch the blistering hot sand as I run towards the cold salty water.
    25. The golden sand tans the bottom of my feet as I run to the salty water.
    26. When I dive across the glassy water, I feel like a mermaid.
    27. My toes feel the cool calm water.

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