The Seagull Sponge
W.A.L.T: identify techniques the author uses to make a normal, everyday event sound exciting.
Room 4 Predictions:
- Sea Gull eating sponge.
- Something to do with Sea Gulls.
- Feeding the Sea Gulls.
- Visiting the beach and a Sea Gull follows them home.
- Sponge cake.
- Baking a cake and calling it The Sea Gulls Sponge.
- Pet Sea Gulls.
- Day at the beach.
- Sponge Fish.
- Find an injured Sea Gull.
The best bits of descriptive detail:
- Peered at the greenish yellow slim that had once been called yolk.
- I yelled at as the birds readied to plummet towards our head.
- We waved sticks of Manauku in the air and inched our way towards land.
- Aunt Nells eyes narrowed with suspicion
- The gulls attacked like a rain of bullets.
- They began peeling off and plummeting towards us.
- I retrieved my hat and rammed it down to my ears.
- I grabbed his hand and dragged him along, his feet barely touching the ground.
- I surged across the channel.
- Jacob plonked down on the sand, refusing to move.
Words that suited the style of writing and were good choices:
- Raking- Draw together with a rake.
- Lurched-Uncontrolled movement.
- Colony- A group of people (or birds).
- Readied- Prepared.
- Suspicion - Curious.
- regarded- to look upon.
- cringed-body hunches.
- plonked-sat down.
- clutch-hold tightly.
Information the author gave to create a picture in our minds:
- Peered at the greenish yellow slime.
- We waited for the ebb tide to uncover the Pipi beds.
- Jim, Brian, and I set off for the land.
- blood trickles down my scalp.
- Sinking her teeth into the fluffy yellow.
What did the author exaggerate?
Eggs being off.
- Aunt Neil wailed.
- Rotoura (stink)
- Pinching her nostril's.
The author describes them like this because it makes a story out of a normal event. The story sounds more interesting if the main events are exaggerated.
Sea Gull attack.
- blood trickling down.
- with military precision.
- like rain of bullets.
- heart beating wildly
Because it's the biggest problem in the story. The story has been building up to this event. It makes the story sound good.
So: What makes a good moment in time story?
- Lots of descriptive detail
- Exaggerating the main events
- Add a few descriptive bits that sound funny / add bit of background information.
- Choosing good, specific vocabulary.